YOU'VE
GOT TO DO THE ACCENT !
Yorkshire man takes his
cat to the vet.
Yorkshireman: "Ayup,
lad, I need to talk to
thee about me cat."
Vet: "Is it a tom?"
Yorkshireman: "Nay, I've
browt it with us."
A Yorkshireman's dog
dies and as it was a
favourite pet he decides
to have a gold statue
made by a jeweller to
remember the dog by.
Yorkshireman: "Can tha
mek us a gold statue of
yon dog?"
Jeweller: "Do you want
it 18 carat?"
Yorkshireman: "No I want
it chewin' a bone yer
daft bugger!"
A Yorkshireman's wife
dies and the widower
decides that her
headstone should have
the words "she were
thine" engraved on it.
He calls the stone
mason, who assures him
that the headstone will
be ready a few days
after the funeral. True
to his word the stone
mason calls the widower
to say that the
headstone is ready and
would he like to come
and have a look.
When the widower gets
there he takes one look
at the stone to see
that it's been engraved
"she were thin". He
explodes - fooking 'ell
man, you've left the
fooking "e" out, you've
left the fooking "e"
out!
The stone mason
apologises and assures
the poor widower that
it will be rectified the
following morning. Next
day comes and the
widower returns to the
stone mason - "There you
go sir, I've put the
"e" on the stone for
you".
The widower looks at
the stone and then
reads out aloud -
"E, she were thin".
Bloke from Barnsley
with a sore arsehole
asks chemist "Nah then
lad, does tha sell arse
cream?"
Chemist replies "Aye,
magnum or cornetto?"
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