Dear All,
I
wanted to send some sort of holiday greeting to my friends, but
it is so difficult in today's world to know exactly what to say
without offending someone. So I met with my solicitor yesterday,
and on his advice I wish to say the following:
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best
wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible,
low stress, non addictive, gender neutral celebration of the
summer solstice holiday, practiced with the most enjoyable
traditions of religious persuasion or secular practices of your
choice with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or
traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious
or secular traditions at all.
I also wish you a financially successful, personally fulfilling
and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the
generally accepted calendar year 2008, but not without due
respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose
contributions to society have helped make our country great (not
to imply that the
UK is
necessarily greater than any other country) and without regard
to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious
faith or sexual preference of the wishee.
By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:
This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is
freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting.
It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of
the wishes for her / him or others and is void where prohibited
by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher.
This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual
application of good tidings for a period of one year or until
the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes
first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or
issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.
SINCERELY,
Mel Ashton