~ TOP 8 MORONS
OF 2007 ~
1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?
AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying
he lacked intellectual leadership.
He received a $26 million severance package.
Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.
2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:
Police in Oakland, CA spent two hours attempting to subdue a
gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home.
After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered
that the man was standing beside them in the police line,
shouting, "Please come out and give yourself up."
3. WHAT WAS PLAN B??? An Illinois man, pretending to have a
gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two
different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper
proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.
4. THE GETAWAY! A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop
and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently,
the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and
worked the counter himself for three hours until police
showed up and grabbed him.
5. DID I SAY THAT??? Police in Los Angeles had good luck
with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself
during a line up. When detectives asked each man in the line
up to repeat the words: "Give me all your money or I'll
shoot", the man shouted, "that's not what I said!".
6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING???
A man spoke frantically into the phone: "My wife is pregnant
and her contractions are only two minutes apart".
"Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No!" the man
shouted, "This is her husband!"
7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!
In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying
to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon.
King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun.
Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (hellooooooo)!
8. THE GRAND FINALE!!!
Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high
desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to
boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they
tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 foot boat,
going. It was very sluggish in almost every manoeuvre, no
matter how much power they applied. After about an hour of
trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina,
thinking someone there may be able to tell them what was
A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect
working condition The engine ran fine, the out-drive went up
and down, and the propeller was the correct size and pitch.
So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check
He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.
NOW REMEMBER...THIS IS TRUE ...
Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the