~ SYMPTOMS of being OVER 35 ~

1.  You leave clubs before the end to "beat the rush".
     (worst still you don't go to the clubs)

2.  You get more excited about having a roast on a Sunday
     than going clubbing  the night before.

3.  You stop dreaming of becoming a professional footballer
     player and start dreaming of having a son who might

4.  Before throwing the local paper away, you look through
     the property  section.

5.  All of a sudden, middle aged people are not 46, they are
     only over 46.

6.  Before going out anywhere, you ask whether there is
     anywhere to park.

7.  Rather than throw a knackered pair of trainers out, you
     keep them because they'll be alright for the DIY or in the

8.  You buy T-shirts without anything written on them.

9.  Instead of laughing at the innovations catalogue that falls
     out of the  newspaper, you suddenly see both the benefit
     and money saving properties of most of the things that are
     in it.

10.  You start to worry about your parents' health.

11.  You have more disposable income, but everything you
       want or need to buy  costs between 200 and 500 quid.

12.  You don't get funny looks when you buy a Disney video
       or a Wallace And  Grommet bubble bath, as the sales
       assistant assumes they are for your children.

13.  Pop music all starts to sound the same.

14.  You opt for Pizza Express over Pizza Hut because they do
       a really nice  half-bottle of house red.

15.  You always have enough milk in.

16.  To compensate for the fact that you have little desire to
       go clubbing, you instead frequent trendy bars and
       restaurants in the mistaken belief that  you have not
       turned into your parents.

17.  While flicking through the TV channels, you happen
       upon C4's Time Team  with Tony Robinson. You get
       drawn in. Grand Designs also appeals.

18.  The benefits of a pension scheme become clear.

19.  You go out of your way to pick up a colour chart from

20.  You wish you had a shed.

21.  You have a shed.

22.  You actually find yourself saying "They don't make 'em
        like that anymore" and "I remember when there were
        only 4 TV channels" and "Not in my day...."

23.  Radio 2 play more songs you know than Radio 1 and
       Jeremy Vine has some really interesting guests on.

24.  Instead of tutting at old people who take ages to get off
       the bus, you  tut at rowdy school children.

25.  When sitting outside a pub you admire their hanging

26.  You find yourself saying "is it cold in here or is it just me.

27.  You understand the above and forward it to your fellow
       aging  friends.