Subject: Out of the mouth of babes

Junior School Children Writing About The Sea...........

1) This is a picture of an octopus.
     It has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6)

2) Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6)

3) If you are surrounded by sea you're an Island.
    If you don't have sea all round you,
    you are incontinent. (Wayne age 7)

4) Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like
    Emily Richardson.
    She's not my friend any more. (Kylie age 6)

5) A dolphin breaths through an arshole on the top of its
    head. (Billy age 6)

6) My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back
    with crabs (Millie age 6)

7) When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to
    cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow,
    the sailors would whistle to make the wind come.
    My brother said they would be better off eating beans.
                                                                       (William age 7)

8) I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny
    tails. How do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen age 6)

9) I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is
    always screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting
    at my Mum, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I
    can't think what to write. (Amy age 6)

10) Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels
      can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under
      the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into
      chargers. (Christopher age 7)

11) When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it
      makes my willy small. (Kevin age 6)

12) Divers have to be safe when they go under the water.
      Two divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down
      on each other. (Becky age 8)

13) On holiday my Mum went water skiing. She fell off when
      she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again
      because water shot up her fanny. (Julie age 7).