Money Saving Tips
In these hard times we all seem to be looking for ways to stretch our meagre salaries or savings out.
I hope the following suggestions may give some ideas how to best manage in these dark days:
DON'T waste money on expensive iPods. Simply think of your favourite tune and hum it.
If you want to "switch tracks", simply think of another song you like and hum that instead.
DON'T waste money on expensive paper shredders to avoid having your identity stolen.
Simply place a few dog turds in the bin bags along with your old bank statements.
HOMEOWNERS: Prevent burglars stealing everything in the house by simply moving everything in the house into your bedroom when you go to bed. In the morning, simply move it all back again.
SAVE money on expensive personalised car number plates by simply changing your name to match your existing plate. - Mr. KVL 741Y,
DON'T waste money buying expensive binoculars; simply stand closer to the object you wish to view.
SAVE electricity by turning off all the lights in your house and walking around wearing a miner's hat.
The best way to get two bottles of washing-up liquid for the price of one is by putting one in your shopping trolley and the other in your coat pocket.
OLD telephone directories make ideal personal address books, simply cross out the names and address of people you don't know.
SAVE on booze by drinking cold tea instead of whisky. The following morning you can create the effects of a hangover by drinking a thimble full of washing up liquid and banging your head repeatedly on the wall.
SAVE a fortune on laundry bills.
Give your dirty shirts to Oxfam, they will wash and iron them
and you can buy them back for fifty pence.