EXERCISING


             It is well documented that for every mile that you jog,

you add one minute to your life.

This enables you, at 85 years of age, to spend an additional

five months in a nursing home at £ 2,000 per month !


            My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60.

She is now 97 and we donít know where the hell she is !

The only reason that I would take up jogging

is so that I could hear heavy breathing again !


      I joined a health club last year for £200, but I havenít lost a pound.

Apparently you have to show up !


            I have to exercise early in the morning Ė

before my brain figures out what I am doing !


      I donít exercise at all.

If God had meant us to touch our toes,

he would have put them further up our body !


              I have flabby thighs but, fortunately, my stomach covers them !


       The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier !


       If you are going to try cross country skiing - start with a small country !


      I donít jog Ė it makes the ice jump right out of my glass !


Ernie Hartley's update - 15/06/08 (to be integrated into above)

The Importance of Walking


 
Walking can add minutes to your life.
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This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $7000 per month.
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My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60..
Now he's 97 years old and we don't know where the hell he is.
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I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
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The only reason I would take up walking is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
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I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I'm doing..
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I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks.
Haven't lost a pound.  Apparently you have to go there.
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Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise', I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
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I do have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
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The advantage of exercising every day is so when you die, they'll say, 'Well, she looks good doesn't she.'
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If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.
***
I know I got a lot of exercise the last few years,....
just getting over the hill.
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You could run this over to your friends but why not just e-mail it to them!
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We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information in our heads.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
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AND
every time I start thinking too much about how I look,
I just find a Happy Hour and by the time I leave, I look just fine.

www.melashton.co.uk/sillies