It is well documented that for every mile that you jog,
you add
one minute to your life.
This
enables you, at 85 years of age, to spend an additional
five
months in a nursing home at £ 2,000 per month !
My grandmother started
walking five miles a day when she was 60.
She is
now 97 and we don’t know where the hell she is !
The only reason that I would take up jogging
is so
that I could hear heavy breathing again !
I joined a health club
last year for £200, but I haven’t lost a pound.
Apparently you have to show up !
I have to exercise early
in the morning –
before
my brain figures out what I am doing !
I don’t exercise at all.
If God
had meant us to touch our toes,
he would
have put them further up our body !
I have flabby thighs but,
fortunately, my stomach covers them !
The advantage of
exercising every day is that you die healthier !
If you are going to try
cross country skiing - start with a small country !
I don’t jog – it makes the ice
jump right out of my glass !
Ernie Hartley's update - 15/06/08 (to be integrated
into above) The Importance of Walking
Walking can add minutes to your life.
***
This enables you at 85 years old to spend an
additional 5 months in a nursing home at $7000 per
month.
***
My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he
was 60..
Now he's 97 years old and we don't know where the
hell he is.
***
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by
people who annoy me.
***
The only reason I would take up walking is so that I
could hear heavy breathing again.
***
I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain
figures out what I'm doing..
***
I joined a health club last year, spent about 400
bucks.
Haven't lost a pound.
Apparently you have to go there.
***
Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise', I wash
my mouth out with chocolate.
***
I do have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach
covers them.
***
The advantage of exercising every day is so when you
die, they'll say, 'Well, she looks good doesn't
she.'
***
If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start
with a small country.
***
I know I got a lot of exercise the last few
years,....
just getting over the hill.
***
You could run this over to your friends but why not
just e-mail it to them!
***
We all get heavier as we get older, because there's
a lot more information in our heads.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
***
AND
every time I start thinking too much about how I
look,
I just find a Happy Hour and by the time I leave, I
look just fine.
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