Start your Christmas properly
Christmas Cake**
**Ingredients:**
** 2 cups flour*
** 1 stick butter*
** 1 cup of water*
** 1 tsp baking soda*
** 1 cup of sugar*
** 1 tsp salt*
** 1 cup of brown sugar*
** Lemon juice*
** 4 large eggs
** Nuts
** 1 bottle tequila*
** 2 cups of dried fruit*
*Sample the tequila to check quality. Take a large bowl,
check the tequila again. To be sure it is of the highest
quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the
electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy
bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point
it's best to make sure the tequila is still OK. Try another
cup... Just in case. Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2
eggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried
fruit.*
*Pick the frigging fruit up off floor. Mix on the turner. If
the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it
loose with a drewscriver. Sample the tequila to check for
tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something.
Check the tequila. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your
nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or some fink.
Whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin
360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat
off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window.
Finish the tequila and wipe counter with the cat.*
*Bingle Jells!
Best Wishes Tony And Sandra Cockell