~ Being British ~
is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a
Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry
or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture
and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.
And the most British thing of all ?
Suspicion of all things
Only in Britain can a pizza get to your house faster than an
Only in Britain do supermarkets make sick people walk all
the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions
while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in Britain do people order double cheeseburgers, large
fries and a DIET coke.
Only in Britain do banks leave both doors open and chain the
pens to the counters.
Only in Britain do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds
on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the
Only in Britain do we use answering machines to screen calls
and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from
someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
Only in Britain are there disabled parking places in front
of a skating rink.
NOT TO MENTION..
3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their
142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from
58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead
31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas
tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.
19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that
Christmas decorations were chocolate.
British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after
Xmas cracker-pulling accidents.
18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper
with a lit cigarette in their mouth.
A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two
years after trying to open bottles of beer with their teeth.
5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving
out-of-control Scalextric cars.
In 2000 eight Brits were admitted to hospital with fractured
skulls incurred whilst throwing up into the toilet.
If you're proud to be British, send this on !
Move to Mel's