Burning Calories before and after Sex

It has been known for many years that sex was good exercise, but until now nobody had made a scientific study of the caloric content of different sexual activities.

Now after "original and proprietary" research they are proud to present the results.

REMOVING HER CLOTHES: 
With her consent.................................12 Calories
Without her consent............................2187 Calories

OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands.................................8 Calories
With one hand...................................12 Calories
With your teeth.................................485 Calories

PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection..................................6 Calories
Without an erection............................3315 Calories

Doggy Style......................................326 Calories
Italian chandelier............. ................2912 Calories 


ORGASMS: 
Real........................................112 Calories
Fake............................................1315 Calories


POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging...........................18 Calories
Getting up immediately.........................36 Calories 
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately.......816 Calories


GETTING A SECOND ERECTION: If you are: 
20-29 years....................................36 Calories
30-39 years....................................80 Calories 
40-49 years....................................124 Calories
50-59 years....................................1972 Calories
60-69 years....................................7916 Calories 
70 and over....................................Results are still pending


DRESSING AFTERWARDS:
Calmly.....................................................32 Calories
In a hurry.....................................................98 Calories 
With her father knocking at the door...........5218 Calori es
With your wife knocking at the door............13,521 Calories