THE BEST ANSWER
The following is
supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington
chemistry mid-term examination.
The answer by one
student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with
colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have
the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question:
Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or
endothermic (absorbs heat) ?
Most of the students
wrote proofs of their beliefs using
Boyle's Law (pressure * volume = constant) and / or
Charles Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is
compressed) or some variant.
One student, however,
wrote the following:
First, we need to know
how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the
rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which
they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a
soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are
leaving.
As for how many souls
are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that
exist in the world today:
Most of these religions state if you are not a member of their
religion, you will go to Hell.
Since there is more than one of these religions and since people
do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all
souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number
of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because
Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure
in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand
proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which
souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will
increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of
souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until
Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the
postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it
will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into
account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2
must be true, and thus I am sure Hell is exothermic and has
already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since
Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more
souls and is therefore, extinct ... leaving only Heaven thereby
proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last
night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A" GRADING
Now read on ........... or Back to Your Last Page