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New Words for 2008
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SALAD DODGER.
An excellent phrase for an overweight person.
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SWAMP-DONKEY
A deeply unattractive person.
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TESTICULATING.
Waving your arms around and talking bollocks.
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BLAMESTORMING.
Sitting round in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed
or a project
failed, and who was responsible.
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SEAGULL MANAGER.
A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on
everything, and Then
leaves.
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ASSMOSIS.
The process by which people seem to absorb success and
advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard..
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SALMON DAY.
The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only
to get screwed and die.
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CUBE FARM.
An office filled with cubicles.
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PRAIRIE
DOGGING.
When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and
people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.
(This also applies to
applause
for a promotion because there may be cake.)
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SITCOMs
Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies
turn into when they have children and one of them stops working
to stay home with
the
kids or start a 'home business'.
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SINBAD.
Single working girls. Single income, no boyfriend and desperate.
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AEROPLANE BLONDE.
One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'.
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PERCUSSIVE
MAINTENANCE.
The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to
get it to
work again.
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ADMINISPHERE.
The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above the rank
and file.
Decisions that fall from the 'adminisphere' are often profoundly
inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed
to solve.
This
is often affiliated with the dreaded 'administrivia' - needless
paperwork and processes.
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GOING FOR A McSHIT.
Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying
food, you're just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply
staff member, your declaration to them that you'll buy their
food afterwards is known as a McShit with Lies.
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404.
Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message
'404 Not Found' meaning that the requested document could not be
located.
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AUSSIE KISS.
Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.
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OH
-
NO
SECOND.
That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've
just Made
a BIG mistake (eg. You've hit 'reply all').
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GREYHOUND.
A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.
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JOHNNY-NO-STARS.
A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical adolescent
who works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from the
badges displaying stars that staff at fast-food restaurants
often wear to show their level
of
training.
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MILLENNIUM DOMES..
The contents of a Wonderbra, I.e. Extremely impressive when
viewed from The
outside, but there's actually naught in there worth seeing.
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MONKEY BATH
A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: 'Oo! Oo!
Oo! Aa!
Aa! Aa!'.
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MYSTERY BUS.
The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in
the toilet
after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive
people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come
back in.
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MYSTERY TAXI.
The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before
you wake up,
whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10 Pinter
in your bed
instead.
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BEER COAT.
The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze
cruise At
3:00am
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BEER
COMPASS.
The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after
booze cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember where you
live, how you got here, and where you've come from.
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BREAKING
THE SEAL.
Your first pee in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking.
After breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the
toilet will be required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of
the night.
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TART
FUEL.
Bottled premixed spirits, regularly consumed by young women.
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PICASSO
BUM.
A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like
she's Got
4
buttocks. |