A man is sitting reading his newspaper when the wife sneaks up behind him and whacks him on the head with a frying pan.

''What was that for?' he asks.

'That was for the piece of paper in your trouser pockets with the name Mary-Ellen written on it,' she replies.

'Don't be silly,' he says. 'Two weeks ago when I went to the races, Mary-Ellen was the name of one of the horses I bet on.'

She seems satisfied and at this apologises.

Three days later he's again sitting in his chair reading when she nails him with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him out cold.

When he comes around, he asks again 'what was that for?!'

'Your fucking horse phoned.'