The Secret of Inner Peace...

Could this be the answer?  I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me and we all could use more calm in our lives. By following the simple advice I heard on a medical TV show, I have finally found inner peace.
A doctor proclaimed the way to achieve inner peace is to "finish all the things you have started."

So I looked around my house to see things I started and hadn't finished and, before leaving the house this morning I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Shhhardonay, a bodle o Baileys, a butle of vocka, a pockage of Prunglies, tha mainder of bot Prozic and Valum scriptins, the res of the Chesescke an a box a chocolets.

Yu haf no idr who fukin gud I fel.