Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York:

      Born 1903-Died 1942

      Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down.

      It was.

 

In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:

      Here lies an Atheist

      All dressed up And no place to go.

 

In a London, England cemetery:

      Here lies Ann Mann,

      Who lived an old maid

      But died an old Mann.

 

In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:

      Anna Wallace

      The children of Israel wanted bread,

      And the Lord sent them manna.

      Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,

      And the Devil sent him Anna.

 

In a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:

      Here lies Johnny Yeast.

      Pardon me For not rising.

 

In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania, cemetery:

      Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.

      Stepped on the gas

      Instead of the brake.

 

In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:

      Here lays The Kid.

      We planted him raw.

      He was quick on the trigger

      But slow on the draw.

 

A lawyer's epitaph in England:

      Sir John Strange.

      Here lies an honest lawyer,

      And that is Strange.

 

John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery:

      Reader, if cash thou art

      In want of any,

      Dig 6 feet deep;

      And thou wilt find a Penny.

 

In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England:

      On the 22nd of June,

      Jonathan Fiddle Went out of tune.

 

On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket, Massachusetts:

      Under the sod and under the trees,

      Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.

      He is not here, there's only the pod.

      Pease shelled out and went to God.

 

In a cemetery in England:

      Remember man, as you walk by,

      As you are now, so once was I.

      As I am now, you soon will be.

      Prepare yourself and follow me.

      To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone:

      To follow you I'll not consent

      Until I know which way you went

 

      From Boot Hill, in Tombstone, Arizona:

      Here lies Lester Moore

      One slug from a 44

      No Les

      No More